


The Great NCT Bake-Off

by cobalamincosel



Series: The Secret Johnny-Loving Group Chat [2]
Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Baking, Cooking, Cooking for Affection, Gen, M/M, Rivalry, i call this my cooking master chef au, this is somewhere between crack and not???
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-30
Updated: 2019-01-30
Packaged: 2019-10-19 08:34:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,336
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17597894
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cobalamincosel/pseuds/cobalamincosel
Summary: Taeyong and Doyoung end up battling it out for Johnny’s affections— in the kitchen!The rest of NCT throws in bets to see who wins.Spoiler: Johnny wins.





	The Great NCT Bake-Off

**Author's Note:**

  * For [fairyslush](https://archiveofourown.org/users/fairyslush/gifts).



> This is like... a spin-off I guess from my first work, [You're A Sunflower](https://archiveofourown.org/works/17361827/).
> 
> . You don’t actually need to read it to get this story, but it does help you understand Ten’s nicknames for people here. Please check that out too. :)

The first time Taeyong feels a spark of competition in his gut is on Johnny’s birthday. 

They all have a surprise party planned for him, and when Doyoung had said he was going to make Johnny real carbonara (“nothing with cream, I’m using Parmesan and egg only”), Taeyong had been excited, glad to share the kitchen with someone like-minded and ready to cook for Johnny with him. He figured he could make something like steak for the group, knowing how much Johnny loved it. It was all gonna be fun. 

Until Johnny tasted Doyoung’s pasta and _moaned_.

Taeyong wants to kill Doyoung. 

Never, not _once_ in the years he has cooked for Johnny, or any of them for that matter, has anyone ever moaned while eating his food, and Taeyong— he sees red. Even when the whole team praises all of the food they cooked, Taeyong can’t unhear Johnny’s moaning.

Even when Johnny hugs both Doyoung and Taeyong in the kitchen after dinner is over and the cake (which Taeyong had baked! No one moaned either! He’s so **angry**!) has been served. 

Taeyong makes a decision.

“You are my adversary in the kitchen now,” Taeyong mutters to himself, staring at Doyoung’s profile while he washes the dishes. 

“Taeyong-hyung are you okay? Your eye is twitching a bit,” Donghyuck asks when he passes by. “Also you’re just standing in the corner. Kinda creepy.”

Taeyong shakes himself off, and plasters on a smile, Johnny’s “Do-YOUNG ughhhhhhhmmmmm this is AMAZING” playing on loop on his head. 

“I’m peachy. I’m just perfect.” 

Taeyong is going to destroy him.

It starts out slowly. Taeyong starts making lunches. Little cute ones. He spends hours watching videos on YouTube and learns how to make heart shaped kimbap and heart shaped tamago sushi. 

And then Doyoung. Doyoung fucking makes a _bear_ out of rice and Johnny squeals with joy.

Doyoung catches on fairly quickly. He knew that the carbonara had changed something in Taeyong, but he also knows that Johnny has never reacted like that to any food that either of them have made. Doyoung counts it as a win.

He decides that this is it: a competition for Johnny’s favour. The battle royale between Taeyong and Doyoung except instead of winning cash, they get to get Johnny’s love and affection. 

It helps that Johnny is the only one who gets access to his fridge. Doyoung's already winning.

The third time they face off is after they get back from Chile, and Johnny cannot stop talking about the food. 

“I never wanted to leave! I love empanadas!” 

It’s all they need. 

Taeyong finds a recipe and heads to the kitchen at midnight to practice, but Doyoung is there.

“What are you doing here?” Taeyong asks, feigning nonchalance. 

Doyoung puts the mixing bowl down.

“You know what I’m doing here. We both know what we’re doing here.”

Taeyong clenches his fist around his bag of raisins. 

“You’re going down, Kim.”

The kitchen is tense for the next hour, the two of them working on their own sides until...

“Can someone explain to me why you’re both cooking at 1 in the morning?”

Johnny and Jaehyun have just gotten back from their Enana broadcast, and they have bags of takeout in hand.

It’s so quiet you can hear a pin drop. And then, the oven timer dings. 

“We uh, we—“ 

“We thought we would make you guys something nice!” Doyoung’s voice gets high pitched when he’s lying, but Johnny shrugs it off.

Doyoung and Taeyong plate their Chilean empanadas, and wait.

Jaehyun is dragged into the competition somehow, seated at the table with Taeyong and Doyoung standing in front of him and Johnny with their arms crossed.

It clicks right then for him, and he has to stifle his laughter at how Taeyong and Doyoung are starting WW3 over Johnny.

Johnny is baffled, but when he sees the empanadas, his joy is unfiltered. Taeyong and Doyoung glance at each other, eyes going soft at the sound, before remembering that they are enemies and this is their judgement round.

“I can’t believe it! You guys really spoil me!”

The result is equivocal. 

Like, literally. 

Johnny moans at the same octave for both Doyoung and Taeyong’s versions of the empanada, and Jaehyun absolutely refuses to give a verdict, even when they hound him about it hours later.

Shit really hits the fan when The Great Bake-off happens, a few weeks after. 

Unhappy with the outcome of the previous empanada challenge, Taeyong and Doyoung decide to settle things once and for all with a cake. 

Carrot cake. Johnny’s favourite.

It’s ridiculous because at this point the rest of the group (yes, including Yangyang and Xiaojun and Hendery) have all started putting in bets in this group chat that Ten started when he caught wind of their master chef shenanigans. Right now it’s evenly split between the 18.

It turns into a much larger event than anyone expects, and it makes Doyoung panic a little because how the hell are they supposed to make this a casual little competition when—

“We’re heeeeereeeeee!” Ten‘s voice calls out through the dorms. 

This is going to be chaos.

Taeyong is alarmed to see that the entirety of Weishen V and NCT Dream, apart from Mark and Donghyuck, walking into their dorms, with Kun throwing his arms around his neck and laughing into his ear.

“Look, when boyfriend number 2 over there says we’re going to the 127 dorms to watch boyfriends number 1 and 3 end this rivalry once and for all, best believe that I, boyfriend number 6, as well as the whole family of course, am coming along. Also, I really want free cake.” 

Kun is insufferable. Taeyong contemplates stabbing him in the neck. Or himself. He also hates that Ten had assigned them boyfriend numbers in their secret Johnny-loving gc. 

God.

Johnny steps out of their room to the cacophony of noise, completely taken aback by the simultaneous screams of “Johnny-hyung!!!” and both Ten and Xiaojun latching themselves onto his neck. 

“Wait wait, is something happening that no one told me about again?”

“There’s a bake-off, hyung!” Yangyang chirps, and Kun steps forward to fill him in. 

“Oh nothing, just that we’ve got a bet going and we wanted to see it for ourselves.”

Taeyong is going to murder Kun. Like right now. He catches Doyoung’s eye and he knows he’s thinking it too.

Johnny, with the most confused expression in the world, lets out a laugh, and says, “well, okay, still have no idea what’s going on but if there’s food and you guys are here then I’m in.”

Lucas takes Johnny by the arm and goes “broooooo I missed you” before dragging him away.

Ten clears his throat and everyone turns to look at him. 

“Welcome, welcome, to the very first and probably only ever Great NCT Bake-off! I am today’s host, and our competitors are...”

Lucas drums his hands on the coffee table, big grin plastered on his face like a giant Golden Retriever. 

“Taeyong-hyung and Doyoung!”

Johnny whoops and everyone else cheers, and Taeyong belatedly remembers that both he and Doyoung are now the surrogate mothers to three other members. 

He hears Chenle say something in Mandarin to Hendery that vaguely translates to “welcome to the family”, and he realises that much as he’s pained that the ENTIRETY of NCT decided to blow this ridiculous thing out of proportion, he’s glad for the excuse to have everyone over together. A bubble of joy erupts in his chest.

“This ends today,” Doyoung says with a small smile as he cracks an egg.

The bubble goes away. 

All that remains is determination and the memory of that stupid carbonara & Johnny’s stupid moan. They get to work, the lines of battle drawn all over the kitchen. Doyoung reaches for a cup. Taeyong starts grinding carrots. They tug-of-war for the cinnamon.

Jaemin has the whole thing on video, of course. He’s been narrating the entire thing, zooming in on their moves, switching easily between Korean and English like it’s nothing. 

Mark is his sidekick, pretending like they’re on Animal Planet, going on about predator and prey.

And very quickly, the cakes are ready, the cream cheese frosting is going over the golden brown, smothered evenly with spatulas and being cut into thin slices. 

“Guys, guys they’re done!” Mark calls out, and the kids all flock around the kitchen counter saving a seat for Johnny.

Jaehyun leads Johnny to the seat, who approaches with trepidation. 

“Hold up, am I the only one eating this? Am I being pranked? I don’t wanna be pranked, please...” 

Johnny looks so forlorn all of a sudden that Lucas has the gall to go in for a pinch on his cheek.

Doyoung steps forward and says, very formally, “You are the one with the most discerning taste in this group, especially when it comes to today’s creation: the carrot cake.”

Taeyong adds, “It makes the most sense that— uh—since we’re trying to perfect our recipes, you’ll judge.”

Johnny looks between the two of them for a second, decides that neither of them would poison him, especially in front of their entire group, so he takes a second to marvel at the cakes laid out in front of him. 

“Oh my god, this is Johnny’s Cake Evaluation. Is there criteria?”

Taeyong has to bite his tongue against saying “I will accept payment in the form of you moaning again for my cake and my cake alone” and instead says, “Presentation 30%, taste 70%.”

Doyoung nods at that, seconding the criteria Taeyong has decided on.

Taeyong’s cake has tiny carrots drawn on in orange and green icing. They’re adorable, goddammit, but then Taeyong has to dig his nails into his palms when he sees it. 

Doyoung’s has a fucking rabbit on his. How did he have time to work with fondant? When did he even do that?

Johnny takes a bite out of Doyoung’s cake first, and there’s this entire HOUR of silence while everyone watches the teaspoon move slowly from plate to mouth. The wind rustles outside the window of the kitchen. A cat meows on the street below.

Johnny does not moan.

Taeyong wants to weep with joy, if only for that. That’s all he cares about at this point, that whether or not Johnny moans for his cake, he will carry the knowledge for the rest of his life that Johnny Did Not Moan For Doyoung’s Cake. 

Johnny tastes Taeyong’s next.

Johnny, fucking Johnny, with his giant smile and his pretty teeth and deep voice, goes “mm!” 

It’s... it’s not a moan. Taeyong doesn’t know what to do with it. Doyoung is staring at Johnny like he has lasers for eyes. 

“Both are really really good, HOW am I expected to choose?”

“I mean, okay, sorry Yongie, but Dons’ has a bunny. And he made it. I can’t not give it full marks for presentation,” Johnny says, looking between the two of them. “But Doyoungie, Taeyong’s is just the right amount of sweet, I think there’s a little bit too much sugar in yours.”

The rest of the group are watching the entire exchange like the 2008 Roger Federer-Rafael Nadal Wimbledon Final. Jungwoo is thinking about the 50,000 won he placed on Taeyong’s head. Jeno is biting a nail in anticipation. Kun is still waiting for his slice of cake.

“I guess if we really are gonna stick to the criteria, then I’m giving Doyoungie a 30% for presentation & a 65% for taste,” Johnny says carefully, aware that the whole room is waiting on his verdict. “As for Taeyong, I’m giving him full marks for taste, but 25% for presentation.”

Jaemin’s “WHAT” echoes through the room while everyone else erupts in groans. 

“That’s literally the same score, Johnny,” Ten deadpans. Jisung says “I _told_ you he was going to do this, I _told you_!” from the right of the counter & Winwin pulls out a few bills from his pocket.

“You honestly can’t expect me to choose between the two of you when you know I’m physically and emotionally incapable of doing so,” Johnny says sincerely, so sincerely that Renjun starts choking on his spit after seeing how bright red both Taeyong and Doyoung have become.

“Are we still talking about cake here?” Taeil asks really loudly. 

Taeyong’s kill list now includes boyfriend numbers 5 in addition to boyfriend number 6. 

“Can we please have some cake? Johnny’s not gonna make a decision, so we might as well eat.” 

Doyoung sighs, resigned to their fate.

People start crowding and passing around little plates and they serve them up for everyone to get a taste. In the ruckus, Taeyong and Doyoung meet at the sink. 

“We knew this would happen,” Doyoung mutters, and starts laughing softly. 

Taeyong side-eyes him, then laughs too.

Doyoung reaches out a soapy hand to Taeyong, and goes, “Can we please just call it a truce now?”

Taeyong thinks about the last couple of weeks, the hours he spent studying new recipes, the /dreams/ of Johnny’s moaning, and takes Doyoung’s hand. 

“Yeah, truce.”

There’s an arm being slung over both their shoulders, and the scent of cinnamon and something like cherries. Johnny pulls them both very close, and presses a kiss on both their foreheads. 

“I have no idea why you guys have been trying to outdo each other in the kitchen lately.”

“But I’m flattered that you guys went out of your way to make things for me,” Johnny says cheekily, and Taeyong flicks some soapy water his way for it.

“Please stop fighting, okay? I love both your cooking.” 

Johnny fucking winks at Doyoung, and then walks back to the group.

The only person who wins money is Jisung, 30,000 won because he’s the only one who called that Johnny wouldn’t actually choose anyone. Kun gets his cake. Jaehyun still refuses to give Doyoung or Taeyong the satisfaction of a clear winner. 

And Johnny? Well. Johnny gets everything.

**Author's Note:**

> This, like most of my work lately, started out as a drabble on Twitter after I read Bella’s tweet:
> 
> ‘rmmbr when johnny said he's happiest when doyoung cooks for him yeah im emotional
> 
> that being said i want a johndotae fic where dotae have this silent cooking competition for johnny and johnny is so confused but also very full’
> 
> So this is really for her. 
> 
> I’m keeping this on AO3 for posterity. 😄
> 
> Also, I know that my timeline is off, but then this is a fic. So. Ehe.
> 
> Come find me on [Twitter](https://twitter.com/johnnyseo_paws/) where I’m on my NCT-loving BS 24/7.


End file.
